Congruence is a great word, it’s like symbiotic, I just like the words.
Carl Rogers the influential American psychologist stated that – “the personality is like a triangle made up of the real self, the perceived self, and ideal self”. According to Rogers, “when there is a good fit between all three components, the person has congruence. This is a healthy state of being and helps people continue to progress toward self-actualization”.
In my mind and when it comes to transgender congruence it’s still very much a three way thing – I believe. Having experienced incongruence and now feel more congruent, for me it’s when the innate sense of my gender, the brain chemistry of my gender and the sociological manifestation of my gender are in harmony. Psychiatrists describe me as late onset transsexual, I refute the latter as I have no problem about my sex, and believe, in part, people who have a problem with their sex organs or body in this way are suffering from additional body dysmorphia symptoms, which could be amplified by their gender incongruence – I am probably wrong though. But the former part “late onset” I more or less agree with. I have always been transgender all my life but as I have gone through my life it got worse, this I attribute to hormone changes in my body as I aged, I have read in a journal that the average age of people presenting with transgender issues are between 35-45, which can point to a drop off in hormone levels.
So going back to congruence as time has gone on and I have been treated with cross hormones I have gained a greater congruence in my life, I feel well and more harmonious.