Over the past thirty or so years sexuality has become one of those news items that keeps cropping up, people campaigning, people suing for equal rights, groups springing up all over the place, twitter, social networking sites, self help groups, support lines you name it. If there’s a mechanism its being used to support this topic in society.
But really I wonder what is the big deal with sexuality? I ask this question because although yes I agree everyone should be treated fairly and without prejudice, I don’t understand why sexuality becomes such a big deal? How on earth has this state of affairs arisen, that such an inordinate amount of money and effort is being spent on providing services for people just because they are more attracted to the same sex/gender or in terms of bi sexual people, both!
Surely there are more important things in this day and age to expend energies on than who people prefer to sleep with – climate change, poverty, child abuse??? Or am I missing the point somewhere?
Don’t get me wrong I don’t have any problem with who people choose as a partner as long as its consenting. No problems with lesbian, gay, pan sexual, bi sexual, in fact any sexuality at all. But really what is the big deal? Why all the Gay Rights things, why Gay Pride? Its the 21st Century and in almost all work and social environments I rarely see a problem with people accepting or at least tolerating homosexuality. It simply shouldn’t be an issue.
My personal definition of sexuality is –
Your innate preference for the gender/sex you desire for sex, as a partner, or for whatever reason you choose.
So what’s all the big racket about, what’s with militancy, yes people have died to gain equality and not be stigmatized, but they won, and we now have legal statute for protection against prejudicial behaviour on the grounds of sexuality. Surely folks, the war is won? I personally feel sexuality has become almost like the new religion, the LGB community in part seem to be amplifying difference rather than embracing diversity, sexuality is almost becoming a stick to whip everyone with.
In the last paragraph I removed the ‘T’ from LGB because I personally think that Transgender issues shouldn’t be part of the same battle. Its totally different, I believe, to associate gender with sexuality is totally totally wrong and damages the core struggle of Transgender people. Transgender and Two Spirit people may have social issues with sexuality as well as issues relating to gender but at the core for Transgender people it the requirement to be accepted for their very gender first that hits hardest.
Some Gay activists may say this is hog wash – but they’d be wrong. Just because you’re gay doesn’t provide you with a gender issue, you do not have a problem gaining congruence and settlement with your own gender itself. Gender is more important than sexuality!
That last statement gender is more important than sexuality may upset many, and I wonder how this post will be received by the LGB community at large. It is true, gender identity is more important than being Gay, Lesbian or Bi-Sexual, children suffer from gender dysphoria and gender variance issues – they don’t suffer from problems relating to their sexuality, its impossible because they aren’t sexual active. It perhaps follows that effeminate boys who society ironically associate with the child being Gay, is more than likely more suffering from gender identity issues rather than anything else. Calling him Gay at 7 or 8 is simply wrong. The same of course follows for little girls, but little girls can be tom boys and be accepted – I’ve never heard the term Jane Girl (for instance) being used to describe an effeminate boy.
For far too long I have felt that the focus and finances of so called LGBT groups have been funnelled down the route of supporting and fighting for rights for the Lesbian, Gay and Bi-sexual people in society whilst leaving the most important element the T – Transgender left impoverished under supported. Setting up help lines and groups run by Lesbians or Gays and saying Transgender people welcome does not really help the Transgender community. Imagine it in reverse a TLGB group – I question if any Lesbian or Gay people would turn up.
I must point out that I make the distinction here that when I refer to Trangender people, I mean people who suffer with gender identity issues, as opposed to some Transvestites who cross dress for other reasons. Again I have no problem with Tranvestites and what they do but I do make the distinction between someone who enjoys being Tranvestite and a person who does or will in the future suffer from Gender Identity issues. For those who don’t understand what I mean by this, some Transvestite people enjoy the ‘life style’ for sexual or other reasons, some are in a transitory state (like I was) and may emerge eventually to be diagnosed as ‘Transexual’ or like I prefer to refer to my self Two Spirit. Again and for balance the incidence of suicide in the community called Transgender (covering all states of gender varience) is higher than in any other segment of society – so some may end up killing themselves, and familes never find out really why.
I have been to the so called Transgender celebration in Manchester a number of times – and know that a portion of the lgb community around Canal Street, Manchester isn’t interested in fact often they are down right rude, if it wasn’t for the money they wouldn’t care. Radical Gay bars such as Thomsons providing an atmosphere that is far from friendly as the hordes of oiled leather clad Gay Males look across the room with disgust at the ‘men’ in frocks that walk through the door – ironically some of our group where also gay or should I say attracted to men, so the way we where looked down on was quite ironic.
And that’s my point, transgender people too can be gay, some aren’t, some are hetrosexual. I myself as a natal male needing to take hormones to help a bio-psychological gender identity condition remain attracted to women no matter what gender I am perceived as, many categorise me as TransLesbian (note the category isn’t LesbianTrans)
The point of this post is this, although I am in favour totally of a non prejudicial society and rights for those that need them, I feel the ‘Rainbow’ coloured world needs to take a long hard look at it self and put first things first. Either give Transgender people the prominence within the community they deserve or leave them to sort it out for themselves.
More over we should all learn to embrace difference and wake up and smell the coffee a bit, sexuality isn’t disabling, doesnt stop you from working, isn’t a psycho-biological condition, it cannot be made easier with medicine. In fact sexuality alongside religion I believe are the most unimportant part of civil rights. Colour, race and gender yes but sexuality ??
We all should adopt on rule – zero tolerance of prejudicial behavior against ANYONE! In any sector of life. Then maybe the world can truly become a rainbow world.
And finally on this point, I once heard someone say the fight for Transgender people to gain acceptance within society was much like the battle black Americans had in America in the 50’s – the reply from an American Transgender person (FTM – for the record) was this.
“The battle that Transgender people face is far worse than that faced by black americans in many ways, black americans could go back home after being abused in the street and be with black americans who understood, people who are homosexual found refuge with others of like minded nature, but Transgender people simply go back to a life where few know and fewer really can understand”
Peace, love and tranquility to you all.