As I’ve traversed the wasted tundra’s of the transgender wilderness, I’ve struggled and I mean struggled, life as it is for many and especially transgender people hasn’t been easy at all. Throughout all of my journey I’ve retained hope that people and society are better than I once believed. I’ve heard that transgender people are the toughest type of people out there, the fight they have is greater than most and those that survive end up tough .. they have to be. I never wanted to end up tough or hard, because I’m not at all, and besides it shouldn’t be needed.
I often hid like a tortoise and still do sometimes, in part to keep the flame alive that the people where better than I believed (and no not everyone is the same) but over time I’ve started to learn and see more of aspects of life and begin to understand more. My partner once told me people are all selfish .. in the main she was right, very right. However I still retained the hope that some are giving and more generous with there thoughts and understandings, that altruism really does exist. But sadly in the main they aren’t, people are selfish and what’s worse people are lazy, very very lazy. Not everyone I hasten to add. People in the main express a sense of frontal benevolence and charity but only as long as it doesn’t end up in their back yard, or threaten their little life. If it does often the big brush comes out and you’re feathered and tarred the same as everyone else, it doesn’t matter who you are or what you do or say they will act that way. Why? Simply because they can’t be bothered to really understand before passing judgement … this attitude is the root of all bigotry and hate.
Today many embrace the world of social media, instant messaging and texts, all squirrelled away in some cyberworld, some say it has killed community, it hasn’t, it’s worse, it’s has killed people and peoples ability to learn about others, killed peoples ability to communicate and actually made people more fearful and less acceptant of others. It has in my view effectively been an evil net woven to homogenise and exploit the masses and to usher as many lemmings as possible into the mincing machine of the fat cats.
Like rats festering in a sewer, with no food, the rats begin to eat themselves, gorging on each other, pointing out the abnormal ones, all the while secretly wishing they where more like the abnormal ones (they are stronger), but hating them all the same, as they gorge on the left overs of what was once life, the fat of lies and the poison of inaccurate understanding. Social networks and communications have accelerated and facilitated the virus of gorging on each others lack of the accepted normal, people looking at each others lives and comparing themselves with others, comparing lives that are not the same, ripping them new mental health problems and working unaware towards the mass homogenisation of the species. Working together as a zombie unit to make everyone comply to the new ways, new acceptances of normal, ways that will become exploited by the very networks that facilitate the social disease. When the networks have people dependant, they can sell self help and a new start with a new app or widget, a new device or sudo social circle. It’s what’s happening slowly, art, creativity, love and kindness is going and all that happens now is people get contorted in trying to find more, eating each other in search of a distant knowledge of themselves, knowing they miss a primeval echo that was once the lifeblood of humanity. As they fight they miss opportunities and beauty of what can be. If the world is empty of love then love itself is abnormal … if the world is empty of dedication then dedication is abnormal, if the world is empty of trust, faith and charity, then all those things are abnormal. Someone lifted the lid on pandoras box and let out all the evils of the world…all that was left was hope. And hope is all I have lived by for such a long time, it has been my spiritual food.
Think about it, if people swim in a tighter and tighter controlled fish bowl, the gene pool of ideas and new understanding is less, the energy of life and love is lessened, the will to accept is reduced, the real human connections and commonality lost. People say we live in a more acceptant society, we don’t, we are led to believe this because most of the population isn’t plugged in to the outside world they are plugged into their phones, plugged into small talk, snippets, the next new shiny thing, the next quick fix … THEY ARE TOO PLUGGED IN TO EVEN SEE ANYONE. And when they all have had enough and their brain overloads they turn to booze or drugs or another dose of spoon fed ‘entertainment’ where they are so called allowed to dictate the winner as long as they pay to take part. All of it lies .. hoodwinkerery to make you believe you are in the right pack running with the right crowd. How can all the best things in life thrive, love, romance, nature, when many live a life with an array of bells, vibrations and interruption, pushing and pulling from the baying voice of many who really only want to feed off your very life, add you as another number in a crazy competition of who can be the busiest fool. The free things in life, the things that are the very life force of humanity didn’t come with a smart phone … you cannot secretly text mother nature, she demands to be looked at and communicated with directly. Just in the same way as we are ignoring nature, we are constantly diverted away from the truth of life itself … emotion and deep connection. It’s too much like hard work and for many who try, they are pulled away to focus on something else. Like a black hole the net sucks people back in slowly but surely .. sad almost dead and tired eyes slip off into the abyss with the distant echos of real life.
So I have a message to all transgender people out there. Walk tall, just live your life true to you, don’t be afraid, be yourself, forget the worries, because as long as you don’t climb over the boundaries and you keep yourself to yourself …PEOPLE WONT EVEN SEE YOUR FAÇADE, never mind care about the person inside. It’s true, try it.
I am afraid few people these days will ask how you are, who you are or what you do, or what they can do to help and genuinely care .. care has become a byword for sweeping up and processing the rubbish, only thing is it’s often the rubbish where you find the valuable stuff, the real diamonds of life.
Anyway good luck with your quest … but rest assured the true elixir of life will be found in few places and can only every be communicated with the eyes. To the rest you are only a commodity on the journey to the android controlled hell called normal. Beep beep vibrate “Hi and welcome to the colourful zany world of the Googleville, where everyone is normal and we even know the cup size of your bra, because ha ha you told us playing a crazy game (but you never realised) … but don’t worry we only melt your brain slowly and guess what between us and Apple .. we got an app for that too!”
All I can say is thank goodness I’m not normal, good luck to you all in the new year and please watch out for Agent Smith .. they are everywhere, all wired up and ready to pull you back in, as cyber food for the system and the large corporations.
You think I’m crazy? .. watch as it happens, either that or one day people will wake up, pick up the analogue phone of life and get out to see reality and all that has been destroyed.